About Your Author

The first thing that you should know is that I am not what you would classify as “normal”. As a person, from a very early age I have known this. I possess a highly evolved intellect, and top that off with a considerable amount of common sense and you’ve got an idea about how I work. I was reading at a 6th grade level by the time I entered Kindergarten, and even then, I was always antisocial and retracted from normal social environments. That is just the basis of how I am, so I will go into detail here. Consider this my “bio” if you will. So, let’s begin.

From a very early age, I was different. My first words ever spoken were “hot shit!” as a toddler. The first movie I ever saw was “Nightmare on Elm Street”. I never wanted to be awake during the day, and I only stayed up during the nights. A natural night owl is what my mother always used to call me. In school, I was quiet, constantly in observance, constantly soaking up any informationI could find because from a very early age, I learned that knowledge is power. My father was not what you would call an “active” parent. He is, in fact, a murderer. He was frequently unemployed and he had a tough time adapting to civilian life after spending 17 years in the US Military. To clear the air, he served during Vietnam. I will not give official rank, but one of his many responsibilities included acting as the machine gunner on the side of attack helicopters. So to get this right out in the open, I was borne to a murderer, as I stated above. Not one or two people. It was this man’s job to fly around and tear into people/villages with his .50 cal machine gun. He has never given me a number, but I have heard from others that he did this for months at a time per tour, so you can imagine how many people have fallen to this man. And, also to be clear, this does not bother me about him. Every event that happens to us, as people, shape us and mold us into who we will eventually become. Some people have more traumatic molds than others. In regards to me, this will lead us in even further into detail about who I am, where I came from, and what I have become.

I personally feel that I am a monster. I DO regret the way I am, and wish I could change it. I have and am currently trying to better myself. I don’t like the things I have done, and lately I have felt the need to begin helping other people when I can, however I can. But the fact remains that I am one fucked up individual. Many times, I feel that I am a legitimate danger to society. I am not a sensitive person. I don’t experience emotions the same way that an average person does – not the way you do. I process emotions very quickly. I am very black-and-white … very “matter of fact” in the way I deal with things. I have experienced a lot in my life, so it is almost impossible to “shock” or “surprise” me. I don’t grieve, or mourn, or usually even acknowledge. I have had very little regard for human life in my past, though that has changed recently. I have been around death, up close and personal. I have lost those closest to me. I have watched multiple people die right in front of me. By the time I walked out of the room, I had already begun processing it and more or less begun to move forward. I don’t care if I offend people, and I don’t care if I hurt people physically, emotionally, or mentally either. Well, I didn’t. As i said, I’ve been trying to change. In fact, I have lived most of my life playing a game. It was all a game to me. I would leave my house in the mornings when I went to work with a goal in mind – upset, hurt and offend as many people as I could. Fuck with them all, as best as my abilities would allow. I was extremely devious, and cunning, and downright wicked. I did not possess the ability to be empathetic. I couldn’t relate to others’ pain or suffering. I was a master at manipulation and mind-games. I simply did not care in the truest sense of the words. Even now, I can go to work and deal with people I have known for 10 years. We will shoot the breeze, I’ll ask about how your family is doing, inquire about what’s going on in your life, and occasionally, horrible things will run through my mind, such as what sounds you would make if you were skinned alive. About the looks on the faces of your family as they watched it happen. At times, I truly disgust myself. I can walk into a Dunkin’ Donuts, order my coffee, and wonder what the cashier would look like without any flesh – no eyelids, no fingernails – just pure meat. Then I thank them for giving me my coffee, smile, wish them a good day, and be on my merry way. These are things I have been ‘battling with’ my entire life. The thoughts have never waned, and I fear that they will never dissipate. I can obviously indulge in amazing self-restraint, but as I said, I suspect the thoughts shall always remain.

I HAD spent some time of my youth as a Satanist, though not as a hardcore one. I was born and raised in an unnamed area of New York City. My mother was at the time a work-horse, who spent every one of her waking moments working in the legal field because her husband, my father, couldn’t hold down a job, and she needed to support the family. I have witnessed blood rituals, sacrificial rituals, and other acts of the shadow. I have witnessed summonings, seances, and spiritual communications. I’ve already gone into detail about what my father was like, but some more depth would reveal that he was verbally, emotionally, and spiritually abusive. Mean-spirited, cold-hearted, violent at times, and always ever present. Just like me. He never knew why he was like that, he just was. I cannot claim that I was ever abused physically, sexually, or anything like that. The man just simply had a tongue laced with venom. I learned from a very early age that if you didn’t have a thick skin, this world would devour you in a heartbeat, without thinking twice about where it would shit out your remains. Quite literally, almost nothing phases me. This has been an ongoing issue for all of those around me. To everyone else, I am likable, agreeable, hell, even friendly and even tempered. But to my family and friends, I am toxic and venomous, just like he was. I have an uncanny ability to rot anything good around me. If I am in a shitty mood, everyone around me will be in a shitty mood. If I am miserable, and you aren’t, give me a few minutes. I’ll make you that way. People around me are often times discovering that they are inexplicably angry, or violent. They hate, but do not know what or why they hate. Quite simply put, that’s me. I am the reason they feel that way. I exude an aura that poisons everything around me. I don’t try – not at all. That is just the way it is. I have a very, very dominant personality. However, because I have a high intellect, I can pretty much converse with almost anyone about almost anything, so generally, people usually those not close to me, enjoy being around me. Here is that “Dexter Morgan” affect I mentioned above.

My grandmother and grandfather on my mother’s side were very involved in my life from a young age. They literally lived in the apartment next door to us, and I would spend my afternoons every single day at her house after school. And speaking of school, at my grandmother’s requests and on her dime, I went to one of the best private Catholic elementary schools in NYC. As I got older, I also went to one of the best Catholic high schools in NYC, mainly due to the fact that I possessed an insanely high intellect level. I knew this fact and abused it every chance I got. But I was also troubled in my youth. I enjoyed hurting people too much. I was expelled from multiple high schools until finally I just simply gave up trying to fit in. I got a job at 16, and just took that ball and ran with it. I fondly recall one time, at my first high school, where I actually started a fight with three members of the football team. At least, it started out as three. I’m not going to lie, even though I got my shots in and did cause minor injury, I lost that fight badly. At the end of everything, it was five-on-one, and I didn’t stand a chance – then. Put me in that situation now, in the current time, and every one of them would spend the night in the hospital. But it was a learning lesson. From that point on, I never looked at a fight the same way again. It was none of this “black eye if you lose” bullshit. I looked at it as life-or-death. I’m not one of those jocks who get into fights to impress people, or to show off to friends. I don’t do it because I want you to know that I can kick your ass. I get into fights because even though I usually enjoy hurting people, I never start them. In the past 14 years of my life, I haven’t started a single fight, but I have indeed finished quite a few. I approach these fights now with the mentality that “this guy is going to try to hurt or even kill me”. So I simply beat them to the punch, and immobilize them so that they can continue no further with any forms of attack against me. I’ve never taken it to “that step”, and I am usually very good at knowing when to stop. But I also make sure the threat against me is neutralized, at all costs.

Back to my grandparents, my grandmother was a devout Catholic woman – not Christian, but Catholic: there is a difference – who made sure that I was well versed in the faith. I received all of the sacraments, and spent my life going through the motions, all the while feeling like there was something missing. I studied the Bible, as was required of my academically, but at the time, I viewed it ONLY academically. From the time I was in 1st grade, I had doubts about my religion. The nuns at my school quite literally hated me and only tolerated my presence because of the fact that we threw money at the school, hand over fist. I alway refuted them and debated with them on points of religion. To say I was a non-believer was an understatement. On more than one occasion as a child, I had the ever loving shit beaten out of my by a nun. When that wouldn’t work, they would open up the closet, and stick me in there in the dark for hours at a time. And take my word for it, I was not alone in that closet. But, I will get back to the topic of the supernatural in a little while.

I once went into a confessional, during school hours as was allowed, and confessed my sins. In my defense, it had been a while since I had last confessed, but to make a long story short, the priest knew who I was, and had a serious conversation with my parents about putting me in therapy and ‘getting me help’. I was in the confessional for about 20 minutes or so, just going down the list of things I had done since my last confession. And with that being said. This caused a great stir within my grandparents house. Now, don’t get me wrong – I loved them. At least, I felt what I consider to be the closest approximation of what I consider love to be like. But the second that they began to ‘interfere’, it was like a switch was turned inside me. I just stopped caring. Soon after that, my grandmother was diagnosed with stomach cancer, underwent many operations, and after many agonizing and painfully wretched months, she died in her home. I was there when it happened. It was actually a strange event. One that would change me for the rest of my life.

At the moment of her death, every clock in the house froze in place. A 100 year old grandfather clock’s pendulum just simply froze. The watches of every man in the house locked into position. Any time piece that wasn’t digital just simply no longer worked. There was a mysterious feeling in the air. Everyone felt uneasy, as if we were not alone but didn’t know it. As her last breathe left her, we couldn’t help feeling relieved that her pain was finally over. Time went on, and as everyone began to grip what had just gone on, I found myself alone in the room with her. I was curious about death, this was the first time that I had ever experienced it. I leaned in, hovering over her body, just looking at this empty shell which no longer contained any life, or essence, or spirit. I must have been there for 5 minutes or so, just examining her, looking at the painful expression forever frozen on her face, the contortions in her final moments… and then that feeling came back. That feeling of uneasiness. I never told my mother this, because I feel it would have disturbed her beyond repair, but at that moment, I saw life – no, not life… I saw presence enter into her eyes again. I felt that there was someone or something present there in that body again. Though they weren’t moving, and there was no blinking, I saw an essence behind her eyes, for a split second. It jarred me quite considerably. I just knew that at that moment, I was not alone in that room. You could feel it. The hairs stood on the back of my neck and my arms, and it felt like there was an electricity in the air. I looked at her half expecting to turn her head and address me, but it never came. Then, as suddenly as it were there, it was gone, and I felt the exact moment when I knew I was again alone

It was this moment that I knew there was something else in this world. I left the room to find that all of the clocks had returned to ticking away again, just as is their function.

And my grandmother still speaks to me today, though not frequently anymore, through dreams and other forms of interaction.

Shortly after that, less than one year as a matter of fact, my grandfather developed cancer as well and died just the same as my grandmother had. I truly believe that when she died, his heart broke and he simply gave into the stress. I believe the stress assisted in the development of his cancer, and that is what eventually took him out. I know I am probably wrong. But experiencing such a profound sense of loss as he did, losing the love of your life for over 45 years, it truly does affect you in ways you would never expect. So that’s my belief, and I’m sticking to it. Just let me have it.

It was truly this moment in my life, when my grandmother died, that made me want to investigate, at the age of 13/14, the possibilities of possession. Not necessarily religious possession at the time, just possession. It was also this event that I believe opened me up, sensitively, to things not of this world/realm. Paranormal activity in my life increased to an almost unbearable level. I told that story because forever after it, I was different. Things had changed for me. I specifically recall a time shortly thereafter, where my mother had been having problems with money, and we were unable to pay our electricity bill. So ConEd (Consolidated Edison, a NYC electricity provider) disconnected our service. I was living in the dark, literally, and it was in that darkness that something came for me. I began to have vivid dreams, in which I took part in massacres involving both angels and demons. I had other dreams that were so vivid and detailed that to this day, I still remember facial expressions, times of day, smells, and written, comprehensive text. I call these things “dreams” because there is nothing else to call them. In my heart, I know they were visions to something else. They were far too vivid – more vivid than any other dreams I have ever had before or since. And they did not fade. I can recall any detail asked of me from the most basic to the most minute. I remember the blood curdling shrieks that left my lips in those visions. I remember the smell of my flesh and the hair burning. I remember the intensity of the desolation, isolation, pain, torment and despair that I felt. I remember the hatred I felt for purity, and the desire to rise above. I remember the feeling of having my flesh split open and tear away, and the intense, orgasmic pain I felt as I metamorphosized into something else. The body torn away, revealing something else underneath – something terrifying. In total, over a two year period, I had only three of these ‘dreams’ that laid out an entire story – a history – of which I intend to tell, in a piece of “fiction” that I am writing in a trilogy of books. Each dream represents one book. They also, changed my life forever, one at a time, and shaped me into who I am today. I have also made the change, recently, to dedicate myself to being a better person. After delving into the unseen world, they too, have taken an interest in me. And literally overnight, I became a believer in God. Because when you come face to face with His nemesis, it is impossible not to believe in Him too.

I will be clear. I am sensitive to the supernatural. More so than the average sensitive person. Some people do not believe such things exist. I can respect that, however, I know for a fact that they do. I have been plagued with them since I was 13 years old. In the form of dreams, nightmares (not the dreams, but the actual class of spiritual entities), living shadows, low whispers, deceptive reflections, unexplained presence, being physically attacked (not severely, mind you) by having random things constantly fall or fly at me… Those are narrow, blanket explanations, but trust me, things get weird around me – and I am not the only person who notices it. Here below, I will give some examples about the strange activity which I experience somewhat periodically. I’ve had family members and friends recognizably notice things.

Example 1: Everyone (2-3 people) will be sitting in the living room playing Call of Duty or watching a movie, and then all the way off to our right, out of the corner of our eyes, we see someone walk across the doorway, passing in front of it. Everyone will stop for a second, look at each other, and then get up to see if anyone had broken into the house and was walking around. There’s never anyone to be found.

Example 2: There will also never be the feeling of being truly “alone” in my house either. My wife has, on many occasions, been in the middle of doing something, for example making a sandwich in the kitchen. I will walk into the kitchen, and her face will turn instantly pale and she will tell me about how for the past 2 minutes, she has been talking to me, telling me things, because she “felt me (or the presence of what she thought was me) in the room with her”.

I will be in a deep state of rest/sleep. My wife and I have different working schedules. She works normal 9-5 hours, while I work afternoons, evenings, and late nights into mornings. So I will be asleep. Lots of shit happens to me while I am asleep.

Example 3: I will be dead asleep, and all of a sudden, there will be a HUGE “bang!” or “boom!” on the wall behind my bed, next to my head. It will usually not be one noise, either, it is very frequently “Boom! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!”, as if someone is standing there just beating the crap out of my wall.

Example 4: I will be dead asleep. Out of nowhere, I will feel someone lean over me, I will feel their presence above me, and the depressions in the bed, and then hear them whisper something into my ear. Except that when I open my eyes, there is no one there. The depressions/weight distribution will return to normal, and the presence fades. Sometimes my name is being called, other times, I can’t make it out or understand it, but one time I was specifically told “Barbara says hello.”. Barbara was my grandmother.

Other situations I have been in, and I have been in many, are varied.

Example 5: I have literally just gotten into bed, and heard a small noise, which sounded like a “hiss” to me come from the corner of the room. With no lights on, no clocks, no televisions, no phones or computers, no lightbulbs, and no outside flooding from street lights, I have literally watched shadows inch forward and take shape, then slowly melt back into the deeper shadow and disappear.

Example 6: Many, many times my wife will be in bed asleep next to me when our schedules match up. I’ll be just teetering on the brink of that place you go when you’re almost asleep but just not quite. I’ll hear her shift her weight and gasp. My eyes will shoot open, and I’ll look in the direction where she is staring. I’ll then see a huge figure standing in my doorframe, blocking the entire thing If I had to put actual, physical sizes on this thing, I would say it would be equivalent to a man standing about 6’10”-7’0″, and weighing about 350-400lbs. We see this figure very frequently, and we call it “the watcher” when we speak about it.

Example 7: I will be preparing to go to sleep, and I will walk around the house shutting everything down. Turning the TV and computers off, making sure no unnecessary electronics are sucking up juice. I’ll go around checking that the windows are locked, and the same with all of the doors. I’ll get to my bedroom, and then hear strange shit. For example, something heavy (75-100lbs at least, like a large “thump!”) being dropped and then literally dragged across the floor of the second story of my house. It’s a strange sensation to hear shit dragged across your ceiling. No one lives up there. So of course, I’ll get a weapon of some kind, usually a knife and not a firearm, and go investigate as to what the hell could be making those noises, being that no one else lives in my house. I’ll find nothing at all out of the ordinary up there, but when I’ll come back downstairs, I’ll find the lights back on and my door closed but unlocked. While I am alone in the house.

Example 8: I have 8 dogs. Small dogs, Beagles, but 8 dogs nonetheless. You have no idea how many times, in the dead of night, usually around the 3:00-4:00a.m. hour, all 8 of my dogs will be sleeping on or around the bed. Without warning and with zero build-up, 2 or 3 dogs will start growling and barking, and then they all wake up. 8 dogs will suddenly charge the doorway as if they are attacking something, but there is nothing visible. Nothing to attack. But they will keep on doing this, their fur raised in a “mohawk” down their backs. We will wake up, investigate, see what the hell is going on, and then try to make the pups feel better so that they can go and comfortably sleep again, but it’s just an illusion we put on for them, because for the life of me, I don’t have any idea what they just saw or tried to attack.

Because of my religious roots, I rebelled at an early age. As I said, I dabbled in Satanism for a few years of my life. I NEVER gave my soul up to the Devil, or made any pacts. I never dedicated myself to him. At the time, I feel as if I were experimenting with something to believe in, but it always just never felt right. It actually felt downright wrong, as if I were making a mistake, which is why I was always too apprehensive to commit myself to that religion. I also used to be a part of something in NYC that I guess could be considered as an underground culture. Some people called it a “cult”, but that’s just because they didn’t know any better. It was called “House (Clan) Sabretooth”, and it was a network of, at the time, approximately 3,000-4,000 people strong in New York alone. This House spanned the entire country and in total had about 25,000-30,000 members. I had heard that it even spanned into other countries as well, but I never met anyone from any of those areas, so I could not confirm beyond a shadow of a doubt. Each one of them believed that to some extend, they were honest to God, real-life vampyres. Some people believed that they truly required blood to survive, and they would have blood-letting parties, and people who would offer them their blood. Others believed that they were not true “vampyres” in the literal sense, but ‘psychic vampires’ who could manipulate the aura of a person and more or less steal that persons energy, leaving them weakened and the “psi vamp” empowered. I am actually one of those. All of the things I mentioned previously, about my mood and my aura affecting those around me, that is basically a psychic vampire, more or less. I personally hate referring to myself as any type of “vampire” or “vampyre”. I prefer the term “energy leech”, as it more accurately describes what I feel happens to those around me. It was a very dark, very gritty and very exclusive place to be. And in my time there, I encountered all aspects of the occult. I encountered people who were devoted students of witchcraft, Santeria, Mekumba, Satanism, Sanguinism, and many others. I have witnessed individuals conducting and delivering hexes and spells which I have seen work with my own two eyes. I have even encountered people who claimed that they were no longer completely human, because through their practices in Satanism, they had welcomed demonic entities to take control of them, and were thus occupied by multiple presences inside one vessel. Of course there were people who were mentally ill there, and of course there were people pretending to be vamps or other creatures, I would be ignorant to not realize this. And as I have said, I am nothing if not observant. I knew the deal. It was easy to spot those who were posers. It should also be noted that it is just as easy to spot those who are NOT lying. You know it in your soul. You FEEL it, in your presence. Your entire existence screams out in protest when in the presence of such entities. But when I did come across the ones who I felt were indeed actually different, I interrogated the hell out of them. I attempted to ‘befriend’ them. And yes, I realize this was or could have been dangerous. I simply didn’t care. I wanted -maybe NEEDED- information. As much as I could find.

To put it simply, I have been around the block. There are more people than you could possibly imagine who willingly volunteer themselves to be taken over by a dark or demonic entity. And at my time there, as a young man of about 16 or 17, I knew a few of them. I spoke with them at length. I tried to obtain as much information as possible, as I stated above. For many of them, they had volunteered for the ‘job’. Others had made little pacts with the devil in which they demanded money or increased sexual activity as their form of payment, their “trade-off” for giving themselves up. Things that would seem to work at the time, but ultimately, years and years later would have them enslaved to something else, with no longer any benefit to them. Some people may be apprehensive about these topics. They may be intimidated or even downright scared of being in the presence of people/creatures such as the ones I have mentioned. But I never was. Maybe it was because I was young and had the “Superman complex”. Maybe I was just naive. I don’t know. See, all my life, I have had problems with fear. I do experience it, don’t get me wrong. But there are just sometimes where it just turns off and won’t go on, no matter what happens to me. PHYSICALLY, I am not afraid of damned near anything. I have done a lot of bad things in my youth. I am not afraid of being hit, hurt, stabbed, sliced, or shot. That does not bother me. But when strange, random, supernatural things happen to me, such as the examples I mentioned above which go on in my home, I do get shaken up a bit. It’s a totally different intensity of terror. You truly can’t explain it.

A far as where I am now, at this point in my life, I have intentionally chosen professions where I can die on a daily basis. I cannot be confined. I hate being stuck in an “office environment”. I work as a NYC Process Server, a Bail Enforcement / Fugitive Recovery Agent, and a bouncer. While some would say that “everyone has issues”, I actually have ‘subscriptions’. I am a writer at heart, hence this blog. I have spent a lot of my time amateurishly studying demons, and only recently have decided to endeavor, onto the actual project of writing multiple books. As part of this writing, I refuse to write garbage, so I am doing everything I possibly can to study up and take seriously the topics of demonic possession, demonic entities, and other supernatural phenomenon. I have even taken to traveling to supposedly ‘haunted’ locations so that I can channel the feelings I experience while there so that I can attempt to experience fear so that I can accurately write about it using those referenced memories. Now, in case you haven’t noticed, I have taken effort to express all of my abnormalities here. That is just so that you can catch a glimpse behind the curtain. I am also a gamer, a husband, a hard worker, I love to read/write, I am an avid movie watcher, and recently a movie-reviewer. I love cinema devoutly. I also enjoy weight training, gyms in general, fighting and martial arts, paintball, hiking, camping, and I collect knives and swords. As soon as I can gather up the money, I actually intend on buying the machinery and supplies needed to create my own knives. I have been in contact with a professional knifemaker in Brooklyn, New York, who has been helping me get that set up. I figure, why not? I’ve been designing weapons since I was a child. I also sketch in pencils and charcoal, but can’t paint worth of shit though. Surprise, surprise, I only deal well with shading and the contrasts of light and dark. I am very heavily involved in technology, both hardware and software. I freelance graphic design occasionally. I also enjoy tattoos and piercings. At one point in my life, I had 5 facial piercings, some of which were very, very rare. Both arms and my chest are inked up, but a simple shirt can and does cover them most of the time, mainly for work. Nowadays, I look just like everyone else. Much like ‘Dexter Morgan’, I have dedicated myself to blending in, at least on the outside. But in my younger years, I had hair down to my belly button, dental acrylic fangs (beast-like, not vampyric), SFX contacts, leather pants and vests, as well as talons for fingernails, basically the whole schtick. But now, the only way you could notice the darkness in me is by simply staring deeply into my eyes. I know it’s there, but I am trying to combat it as best as I can.

I also suffer from Eisoptrophobia. Look it up real quick. It is technically classified as an irrational fear of mirrors or reflective surfaces. I say “technically”, because my fear is not irrational, it is 100% supernatural. I know exactly why I have a fear of mirrors. I have personally seen things in mirrors I should not have. Shadows behind me in my reflection that didn’t exist in the real world. Facial expressions on my reflection that I was not making. Shit like that. There are also other reasons why I am not comfortable around mirrors.

Other superstitions revolve around the idea of the mirror acting as a receptacle for the soul. So, if someone dies, the mirrors in the house should be covered to prevent the soul entering the mirror

(“Death and dying in central Appalachia: changing attitudes and practice”, J. K. Crissman, University of Illinois Press, 1994).

Also, mirrors are made out of glass. Glass is made out of super heated sand. God only knows what could have happened on that sand before it was gathered and turned to glass. People could have been slaughtered on that sand during beach invasions throughout history. Occultists could have performed dark rituals on the beach at night one day before that sand was gathered. You quite literally never know where it comes from. Through random chance, I found a comment posted to a link explaining what this phobia entails. It was the only comment there, and appears to be anonymous.This does not shock me, but the comment is pasted below, and the original article explaining this phobia can be found here:

There are things that people have yet to discover about mirrors. Like mirror walkers for instance. They’re these nasty little demons who travel throught mirrors but have the ability to come out of the mirror where ever they please. Thyy are born as twins and I don’t know how many are left but my coven has been under attack by them the last few days. They’ve done everything from bust my lip open to choke my sister to even moving things and trying to break our communications with eachother. The bottom line is, there is something in my house that apparently has friends that are linked to my friends houses. I’ve had girls almost be hospitalized for burns, cuts, bruises, handprints, ect. that weren’t there when they went to bed the night before. Believe it not? I’m an eye witness.

I did not write that quote, but I could have. (Though I’m not in a coven.) I have personally witnessed my own reflection blink when I had not, or I would blink when it would not. I would also catch strange little smiles on my reflections face from the corner of my eye. And there are people out there who think people like myself are crazy, however, I have a test for them. This experiment will not (I should say “should not“) produce any supernatural activity, I just want to prove a point. Put yourself in a low light situation. A single candle, or maybe even a dimly lit nightlight. Now, find a glass mirror. Preferably an older mirror, but any real, glass mirror will do. Now, with the candles behind you, only so that you can make out the details of your own face and your reflections face, get close to the mirror. Keep your eyes open. Press your forehead against the glass, but stare into your reflection’s eyes. Try not to blink. Count slowly to 20, without moving. Try to focus on your breathing. So that “1” represents you inhaling your breath. Hold it for a second, then slowly let it out during “2”. Then “3” is inhale, and “4” is exhale. Do that for the entire duration. Every odd number is an inhale, and every even number is an exhale. Once you hit about “10”, slowly smile, and then continue doing the inhale/exhale slow countdown. After 20, slowly – very slowly – pull/peel your forehead off of the glass, and never break eye contact with your reflection.

I guarantee that you will feel uneasy, and absolutely not alone. Test this at your own will/risk, because I happen to know for a fact that it works.

I am not crazy. I was never with one therapist for a long enough period of time because I was constantly bounced around from one to the other, but when I was, the general consensus seemed to be that I had “sociopathic tendencies”. I am not mentally unbalanced, but I do have emotional issues in the sense that I don’t react to certain things like you do. I have no social filter, I say whatever is on my mind. I do have violent outbursts, though not frequently, and never directed towards those I love. I do enjoy hurting people when they deserve it though, and I have been trying to change that though. I do not give them any warning. In my youth, I have stabbed people. I have sliced them, and been sliced myself, almost stabbed as well. I have stared down the barrel of a gun in my past, and I have stared down my own barrel. I used to have trouble understanding “proper morals” or “etiquette”. The reason that I became a Bail Enforcement / Fugitive Recovery Agent is because it is one of the only jobs available where I could hunt people.

“There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter.” – Ernest Hemingway

So, for those with a colorful imagination, I will give you an example in a moment of what a normal confrontation with me is like, but I will explain a few things first.

I am a big man. I stand at about 6’2″, but I am very wide. As I have gotten older I have put on some weight, but for most of my twenties, I was in petty decent shape. I have a lot of natural strength. An abnormal amount of physical strength, actually. I’m what some people call “retard strong”, forgive the politically incorrect statement. All my life I have done shit that most people couldn’t, physically. I compliment that natural strength by strength training frequently in the gym. I am also ridiculously pale skinned. I am of Polish, Irish, and German heritage. I am whiter than white. I have either light or dark grey eyes, depending on my mood. (They change colors, literally). If you look into my eyes, you can see little shards or flecks of “light”, as if there is something broken inside me. I believe that there may very well be. I have been told many times that my eyes are offsetting to people. I have a tendency to stare. And I don’t blink very much. I also know how to fight (I have studied Filipino Kai and some Pentcak Silat) and I am currently considering taking more Krav Maga classes if I can gather up the money to pay for them. I have an extremely high tolerance for pain. I once walked on a broken hip with floating chips in my knee for 7 months before going to see a doctor. I had a very violent youth, so violence, blood, and bone do not scare or shock me. Now, on to that example.

For one of my jobs as I have mentioned, I work as a bouncer on a club security team. Sometimes I will be at the door, and here is an example of a situation I’ve encountered in the past. A group of people walk up to me. I look right at the first couple, and tell the woman not to bother giving me her ID because she is obviously old enough and shouldn’t be out clubbing as is. Still in shock, I’ll ask the second couple for ID. I’ll look at it, examine it, make sure the dates match up and then scan the photo and match it to the person’s face. Then, I’ll use my sense of touch and experience to determine the quality of the ID and then I’ll determine if it is indeed genuine. I hand it back to them, and then ask them for additional ID because that one looks fake. I’ll tell him that he looks too young and the ID is questionable. I’ll refuse to let them in. When I make my mind up, I usually don’t budge. Then, they become ‘lawyers’ and try to negotiate their way in. I refuse, and embarrass them in front of their women by saying things like “There’s no chance you’re getting in here, so turn around and go somewhere else.‘. Then, of course, they’ll try “But I know the owner!“, to which I respond “Really?! Me too! Now get the fuck out of here and stop wasting my time.“. By this point, they will try to offer me a bribe, and no matter what they try to hand me, I’ll embarrass them again. “What, you think $50 is going to make me overlook your stupidity? You tried to play me for a fool with that fake ass ID, just shut up and leave before your mouth makes it any worse.” At this point, the men are all starting to get pissed and start getting all loud and aggressive. I will sit there, calmly staring at them and telling them to calm down and shut their mouths as they become increasingly confrontational. At this point, there are three men in front of me, and I’m still calmly poking the hornets nest. All I am waiting for is that first person to get physical with me. In this line of work, if you are security/bouncer, and you throw the first strike, you are at fault and can be arrested and/or sued. So one of the men gets in my face, nose-to-nose. Eye to eye. I won’t blink. I’ll smile at him, and then, down low, where no one else can see what happened, I will gently lift up my boot, and step on his toes, provoking him. The second he raises his hands to shove me backwards off of him, I have already punched him in the throat and grabbed onto his wrist, trying my best to spiral fracture it. I am aware that I provoked him, but couldn’t tell you why I did. I just did. Maybe I was hoping for a physical confrontation. Either way, I will do everything I can to hyperextend, break, or spiral fracture any joint that my opponents leaves open. Kick out the knee, jam the elbows, cave in the ankle to break it…. Hell, I’ve even been known to grab someone by the thumbs and continue twisting until I hear a snap or two. After everything is said and done, I will stand there, watching all of them wriggle and roll around on the floor, and then I will let the rest of the security team know that there was a problem in the first place, and to alert the police. I realize that I have a sadistic streak. I cannot help that, but I have been trying to better control it. This is my personality. I engage in situations like that because I didn’t want to needlessly involve any of the other people on the security team, but also because I like hurting people who I feel deserve it. I am selfish. I wanted that group to myself. I don’t like to share. And since they were the ones who made the first move, I was completely and legally justified in reacting how I did, as that makes it self-defense. I tell you this, because it gives you tremendous insight to how I am. I will not yell, or even raise my voice. I won’t threaten you. I won’t display body language that will appear confrontational. I won’t talk any form of shit. I will simply lock eyes with you, refuse to back down, continually freeze a smile on my face, and then severely hurt you if you try anything to hurt me. I am usually very well armed too, but a lot of that has to do with self protection for the jobs I have chosen. Part of Filipino Kali is that it is a weapon-based martial art, so when I studied it, weapons were a prerequisite. You are looked at as an artist, and your blades are your instruments. Your opponent’s body is your canvas, and the more damage you do, the prettier the art is. It’s one of the most physically devastating martial arts in the world. That’s why I chose to learn it. And I am damned good and mighty fast with a blade. The things I can do to a person in self-defense with a 1″ blade are astounding. But, I digress….

So in closing, we can all agree that I am not normal. Do I believe that I am “demonically possessed“? Absolutely not, though I do exhibit quite the many traits. Do I believe I am normal? Absolutely not. I share more things in common with Richard “The Iceman” Kuklinski than I do with the average person. I DO however, always seem to travel with a “spiritual entourage“, if you will and random stuff always seems to happen to those around me eventually. I AM constantly trying to be a better person. I have become a lot more compassionate lately, and notice a genuine desire to help others when and how I can. While I did not go into very much detail explaining my life, trust me, there are so many stories left untold. I’m sure that they will come out over time through this little blog of mine. All I can say is that I hope you remain entertained, and that I at least interest you. I guess time will tell…..

  1. Rene818 says:

    What a post man. Thanks for sharing your personal life experiences with us. Not everyone would consider sharing such dark thoughts as it may label someone “sick” or even “crazy”. One would even go as far as saying we are all insane trying to live a sane life.

    I can relate to some of your experiences but I have also changed a whole lot after bringing life into the world. Anywho..

    I can’t wait to read more of your upcoming posts.. its like if I wrote them.. but didn’t.. =]

    • LVCIFER says:

      See, shit like that makes me smile. I’m very self aware. I know people will look at me like I’m a lunatic, I just don’t care anymore. *lol* I’m glad you like bro. Hopefully others will too.

      • JESUS is the only way says:

        I wud like to tell u honestly u better find JESUS CHRIST quick n stop lien to ppl.. Lucifer is the angel of light… He was a special creation by GOD and he was spoiled n wanted to b GOD and it just would not work. What ppl dont know is that GOD was hurt by lucifer’s greed and it hurt him to kick his special creation out of the KINGDOM OF HEAVEN.. Now same as before lucifer still is angel of light and deceives many many ppl because he comes as light and GOD is light so he deceives ppl into thinking he is GOD… u are confused and its not funny.. U might laugh bout it but its ot funny at all.. It’s very stupid honestly.. Very ignorant and very uneducated to be this way. I’m sorry. GOD gives ppl free choice but satan forces… Fuck SATAN..

  2. rick says:

    i also liked all the articles you posted. Would like some more if you have?

  3. rick says:

    Also I would like to thank you for the indepth info you provided on the demonic. Although I didn’t experience anything myselve I have a unnatural interest on this subject. It’s very hard to find documented cases of demonic possesion and when you do find something is very shallow and not indepth. I did read that you would like to be an expert in this field and I would like it very much if you updated this website some more.I check it on a daily bases to read some more but to my regret I never find something new. But anyway if you do that or not I thank you very much for the provided info and pray to God that you and your family will be save.

    from holland



    • LVCIFER says:

      I have some interesting stuff coming. Pretty soon there will be articles about Shadow People, The Djinn, The Sidhe (Faeries), The Three Days of Darkness before the Apocalypse, etc. Keep your eyes peeled. 🙂

  4. sarah says:

    Dude this site rocks, im totally entralled with the subject of possession, mainly demonic possession.

    I cant read enough about it. i have lots of books on the subject and my bf is becoming increasingly freaked out my my “freakyness.”

    Unlike you, I am unable to be so open regarding my dark side, however i found that reading yours made me feel a bit more open to the idea of sharing my thoughts.

    Im from Glasgow, Scotland and have read your practically everything on your site. My favourite parts are of the girls that are possessed and the shadow people, which i can relate too.

    Anyway dude, keep up the good work!


    • LVCIFER says:

      Well thank you. 🙂

      Much appreciated. Keep your eyes peeled, I have a few articles I’m working on that you’ll like. They should be up soon-ish.

    • zxcv6279a says:

      Hello Sarah, I would like to say that There is nothing wrong with being interested in this field, But you have to realize that most people react in a few different ways, some think your crazy because they don’t believe in Demonic anything, others react in fear, and I have been called a voodoo practitioner, a satanist, a Santero, a Devil worshipper etc because they think that if you show interest in such areas that you must be Part of them. I know it’s crazy, But keep on keeping on. If you don’t mind, in your reply you said that you can “relate” to Possessions and Shadow people. May I ask How so??
      You may leave me a message at jamesbritton407@yahoo.com or at this site I believe at zxcv6278a
      Thanks, Jimmy

  5. sarah says:

    dude i also think you should look into the colour of your eyes and the meaning behind it!

    i had a weirdo experience when a seemingly “normal” old black lady told me (whilst i waitied in a queue to pay for baby converse shoes) that i had a certain darkness in my eyes and that my eyes had “fragments,” of evil!

    i have naturally green eyes!!!

    so……..i googled it and indeed within some African culture, green eyed people are more likely to be possessed by demonic forces!

    just an idea 🙂


    • LVCIFER says:


      I’ve never heard that, but I have a stack of Afro-Caribbean religious books just sitting by the side of my computer that I haven’t read yet. Maybe I should!

      My eyes are naturally a slightly darker grey. Depending on what mood I am in, they shift between a pale blue, or a dull/hazel green. But they always have little “flecks” of light in them, so I don’t know what that means. I’ve been told that my eyes resemble “snake skin” by more than one person, so take that for what it’s worth. *chuckle*

  6. sarah says:

    “The evil eye is a look that is believed by many cultures to be able to cause injury or bad luck for the person at whom it is directed for reasons of envy or dislike. The term also refers to the power attributed to certain persons of inflicting injury or bad luck by such an envious or ill-wishing look.

    A Ruby Eye Pendant from an ancient civilization in Mesopotamia was possibly used as amulet to protect against evil eyes. Adilnor Collection.The Assyrians are also strong believers in the evil eye. They will usually wear a blue/turquoise bead around a necklace to be protected from the evil eye. Also, they might pinch the buttocks, comparable to Armenians. It is said that people with green or blue eyes are more prone to the evil eye effect. A simple and instant way of protection in European Christian countries is to make the sign of the cross with your hand and point two fingers, the index finger and the little finger, towards the supposed source of influence or supposed victim as described in the first chapter of Bram Stokers novel Dracula published in 1897:

    When we started, the crowd round the inn door, which had by this time swelled to a considerable size, all made the sign of the cross and pointed two fingers towards me. With some difficulty, I got a fellow passenger to tell me what they meant. He would not answer at first, but on learning that I was English, he explained that it was a charm or guard against the evil eye.[9]

    In the Aegean Region and other areas where light-colored eyes are relatively rare, people with green eyes are thought to bestow the curse, intentionally or unintentionally.[8]”

    found all this too! 🙂 my eyes are light green, creepy some say! i think they are charming 😐 I understand why some would say they are creepy!

    Your eyes sound interesting, snakeskin eh? think of the references to snakes in many cultures and indeed the bible! 🙂 its not looking good for you eh? 🙂

  7. Tom says:

    Awesome post mate kept me interested the whole time (which is hard to do with my attention span). Loving the website also, keep up the good work.

  8. E says:

    This is very hard for me to write because I am so used to keeping these things to myself. I can relate to most of what you’ve been through. It’s strange how similar some things you have mentioned are to what I have experienced myself. Thanks for telling your story. Sometimes it helps to know you’re not alone. As my issues are coming back to haunt me, I will probably spend quite a bit of time here doing reasearch. Keep up the good work.

    • LVCIFER says:

      Thank you. I’m trying. At the current time, I already have 4 more articles in the works, and I have another author who has 1 or 2 on his plate as well. I’m conducting some interviews for some of them, researching others, and waiting for some books to be shipped to me so that I can conclude research on others. Point being, I’m trying my best to get out some accurate information that may help people who are searching for it, in a rather obscure field. If there’s anything you have questions about, in regards to your own experiences, please feel free to ask. I’ll help if I can. 

  9. Jorgeben says:

    I think Lvcifer is in real danger and some holy relatives of him, especially Barbara have been sustaining him all the time. Prayers are due for him and for all who are ‘proud’ to be like him.

    • LVCIFER says:

      I thank you for your concern, and I truly do mean that. Reading your comment made me take a pause, and just sit here to stare at my screen for a second. I literally just released an article, and am typing in the dark, and the truth of the matter is, the second I read your comment, my first initial reaction was anger, but it passed very quickly. Upon more thought, I do realize that you are probably correct.

      When things started to get bad for me, supernaturally, my mother gave me something that my grandmother, Barbara, handmade: a rosary that she had gotten blessed. My wife, who is a bit of a medium in her own right, mentioned later that night, without knowing that my mother had given me this, that she senses an entity around me who she felt had genuine love for me. She also said that she was getting a message from this entity. It wasn’t speaking to her or anything like that, she doesn’t usually have that type of ability, but she did say that a phrase kept on flashing in her conscious mind, and that phrase was “It always belonged to him.“. She asked me what that could mean, and then I showed her the rosary, and that answered that.

      So ultimately, yes, I do agree that I believe my grandmother in particular may be vigilantly watching over me, and have believed this for some time. So again, thank you for the prayers. God knows, I need all the help I can get. *chuckle*

  10. Kristina says:

    I love your posts and visit this site every day. I was wondering if had any info regarding the Christian angelic hierarchy? I want to learn more about Seraphims, Cherubims, Thrones, Ophanims, Dominions, Virtues, Powers, Authorities, Principalities, Archangels, and the 3 spheres of heaven. Do you know of any good books? I’m having a hard time finding good resources.

    • SM says:

      I know this is a late reply, but I just found this website and wanted to post a comment for anyone interested. In the Coptic (Egyptian) Orthodox Church, there is part of a “Heavenly Order Doxology” that names the 7 archangels of God. I think it may have come from earlier Jewish tradition, but I am not sure.
      I copied and pasted the relevant verses below:

      Seven archangels, praising as they stand, before the Pantocrator, serving the hidden mystery.

      + Michael is the first, Gabriel is the second, Raphael is the third, a symbol of the Trinity.

      Suriel Sedakiel, Sarathiel and Ananiel, the luminous the great and the holy, asking Him for the creation.

      + The Cherubim the Seraphim, the Thrones the Dominions and Powers, the four incorporeal creatures, carrying the throne of God.

  11. Emile says:

    I feel compelled to write something here, thought I truly want to forget that I have ever found this site.

    I feel a mixture of horror and intrigue for the contents I have read. I happened to do a search for Anneliese Michel, and I read your entire article, and then happened to read About the Author.

    I have a somewhat religious background, and have always had a keen interest in the supernatural. I have in recent years turned my back on all of it.

    I have had what I believe to be dark and demonic experiences (I am still young, only 23 myself) in my earlier years and reading your experiences truly make my insides freeze.

    I avoid mirrors in low light, and particularly at night. I don’t consider it a phobia, but it scares me to think of it now having read your bio.

    I am also afraid of 3am, though I have always been a natural night owl.

    So when I felt compelled to search for Anneliese during the wee hours of the morning, I have terrified myself reading your site near 3am.

    I probably sound like a scaredy-cat who is rambling like an idiot, but I am truly only afraid at night.

    I am afraid of how much I have identified with, how much I don’t know, how much I do know, how much I have seen, and how much I still crave to find out.

    I don’t know why I told you all of that, but there it is.

    • JD says:

      3 AM has been known for increased demonic activity. It is the nighttime opposite of 3 PM, the death of Christ. I am Catholic and I think demonic possession is a strong sign of the truth of the faith. I would suggest everyone to investigate the Catholic church, there is a reason its the most hated enemy of demons. Most people with demonic posession have a history of familiarity/inivitation of the occult through ouija boards and other means.

  12. rebby says:

    Hello. Just read your bio and it was interesting. I am a Catholic and I very much believe in demons and Satan and doing things that opens yourself to the spirit world. Did you know that when you like dabble in Satanism you are showing the evil one interest in him and opening yourself to him regardless if you gave your soul to him or not? It is like tempting him and I have learned from reading about demonic possessions that showing interest is like you are opening the door to him so that he may enter your life somehow. Never do anything to tempt Satan because he is powerful and it is very hard to get rid of him and demons. Like playing with a Ouija board, doing a seance, those are doorways to the spirit world and anything can come through, even a demon claiming to be a loved one. Demons are very deceitful. Mirrors are also a doorway to the spirit world. That is why the Jewish covers the mirrors during mourning so the spirit cannot come back through.

    Your bio about feeling a presence when you are alone I can understand. I have too felt a presence at times in my house and I have seen a movement out of the corner of my eye but when I look, it is not there. My fiance and I feel like there is a spirit in our home, but I don’t think it is an evil one. I feel like it is good and watches out for us. I think it made my fiance aware that I was having a seizure 2 years ago. For months I would wake up on my days off feeling sick like I had a stomach flu. I would also wake up sometimes with weak legs, tongue bitten and peed pants. Then one day I was sleeping on the couch and I guess our dog was trying to get his attention and he did not want to be bothered and told her to lay down. He then heard a wail or some noise that got his attention and said “Babe did you hear that?” and looked at me and saw I was having a seizure. My fiance is a sensitive person and gets scared at night because sometimes he hears things and sees things in the dark corners of the bedroom. I tell him that when he feels scared or feels a presence, to tell it to begone and pray to God and Saint Michael the Archangel to protect him.

    Sorry if I am rambling but I feel I should tell you these things because I feel you need to know these things. I feel like you don’t take things seriously enough and you are so casual about demons and the spirit world. Religion is a big part of our lives whether we believe in it or not. Something other that us is here in our world and is getting stronger and stronger and we have to combat it. We cannot let the evil win for if we do we will lose and it would be our souls at stake.

    • LVCIFER says:

      First off, thank you for leaving such a detailed comment. While I am pretty much aware of just about everything that you mentioned in your statement, the one thing I did want to address is affecting you feel that I address these things to casually. The issue is, this isn’t “new” for me. This is something that I have been dealing with my entire life. I’m no longer startled by the occurrences that I witness, what noises I hear, or the things that I see. This isn’t something that I am unaccustomed to. I assure you, I do treat this with the absolute utmost respect that it deserves. As a matter of fact, if I didn’t, why would I be devoting every free, spare, waking moment of my life to learning about these things and getting that information out to everyone?

      I am well aware of the thing I have done that have attracted negative attention to my life. I am aware of what experimentation with a ouija board can bring in – because I have already WITNESSED what it can bring in. I am aware that showing interest in and dabbling within satanism is also a doorway. But I am also a believer in the fact that what is done is done. It can’t be undone, only repaired. However, again, I thank you for leaving this comment. I truly do appreciate it.

  13. Marika says:

    Reading this candid sum up of yourself and your life spoke to me on certain levels,so much so that i feel i have to make comment.first of all ,i have never before responded or made comment to anything on any web site or article before.Aside from seeking expert advice once regarding the paranormal activity in my life,(through a website.)this is the extent of my previous response to anything.your comments about the unexplainable feeling when experiencing these phenomena struck me..it is like nothing else…i was always insatiably curiouse & read/searched vorasciously for anything pertaining to demonic activity/paranormal, much as you said yourself.when i started to have these experiences,i cant explain how deep the absolute conviction is that what i was seeing/feeling,was real,& absolutely not of human origin.its like your soul knows and feels it…its that deep& real.I also was struck by your feelings regarding mirrors.in my case i have a blind terror of looking into a mirror in the dark…yeah ,i know..how can you “see”an image in airror if its dark?well i have,and as you say ,this is the basis of my phobic reaction to them.not in daylight,only in the dark.at the same time,i have several in my home.i’ve just felt intensely drawn to the ones i have..yet fear them terribly at night.Anyway,enough rambling.great article.reading of some of your experiences brought me some reassurance of sanity regarding my own.thank you,m.

  14. Marika says:

    I’ve already written a response to this commentary on your self &your life,author(im sorry,but if its ok,ive called you “author”,not knowing your name),which i thought was exceptional.id also like to say that your article on Miss Anneliese Michel refreshing as it was heart-wrenching on her behalf…refreshing because for once i read an intelligent,incisive article about a topic im interested,which is unusually thorough,& thank god,not the usual,boring,skimming the surface crap meant for “normal” people to consume.thanks again for the great reads!M.V.

    • LVCIFER says:

      Thank you for your interest. In regards to the Anneliese Michel piece, since many have shown such an intense interest in it, I’m planning a massive update of that article which will include a ton of new information, including screenshots of letters written by Anneliese herself, including translations, etc. Again, I’m very pleased that you enjoyed it. 🙂

  15. Marika says:

    I do have one more question for you Lvcifer.As reading the piece on A.M.’s possession/exorcism,& your bio piece were my first interaction with this site,this may be a less than intelligent question,but i would very much like to read any other pieces you have written pertaining to similar subject matter,if they are available.as ive said,ive spent my life searching & reading anything i can get my hands on re. this type of subject matter.i find your frank writing style,& all-encompassing,thorough research of the subject matter makes a far superior &satisfying read than any of the many other sites ive checked out.so,if possible,id like to know when & where i could find other pieces you’ve written.thanks again,m.v.

    • LVCIFER says:

      Thank you again for the compliments, it means a lot. In regards to other articles similar to that one, I have some that you might enjoy on the blog, namely the one on the “Se’irim”, and the “War in Heaven” piece. Within the next few weeks, I am going to be posting an in-depth article on the Djinn, the ‘demons’ of the Islamic faith. That one took me a very, very long time to research, but ultimately, it’s going to be a good one. There is also going to be later this year an article dealing with the Nuns of Loudun, France, as well as another article dealing with the Salem Witch Trials, so I guess time will tell. I guess you could read up on the Robbie Mannheim case, but I don’t feel that one was on the same level as the Anneliese Michel article, as it was much briefer.

  16. Kyrie says:

    I stumbled upon your site quite by accident, but I am very glad I did. I, like you, have dabbled and researched lots in the preternatural and supernatural. I don’t share much about what I think, feel, or experience because many would say I’m crazy. I would like to thank you for using your spare time to create this site and for sharing your story. It’s nice to know there are others with similar experiences and thoughts.

    • LVCIFER says:

      Not a problem, Kyrie. I have lots planned for this site actually. I was going to update it with a few new articles that will be featured in the book, and I’m actively searching for additional writers, etc. That’s all once I put some more time into maintaining it significantly more than I’ve been. Thank you for finding it, it’s you guys who keep me motivated.

      • zxcv6279a says:

        Hey Lvcifer, Its Jim I got your Response about the Case Study I sent you a copy of. As it says inside, I did write it for a Priest, Who now resides in Saint Clares Monastery in Yonkers. He refered me to a church in midtown, and as I had written you previously, I brought him there for the Annointing of the sick, which I believed would bring about some type of reaction. The Priest who annointed us both was shaking like a leaf when he annointed “Fred” and even though he would’nt say, I “Felt” and got a “Flash” that he had been involved with this Field extensively before. Also I think it is quite note worthy to mention that when Fred and I went to meet him for our appointmant to be annointed, another Priest had greeted us and then he went to get the priest who was the Pastor and was going to impart the sacrament on us and ever since, even though the Pastor left that church every time I see the other Priest he always gives me Dirty looks as if I did some thing wrong so please get back to me

      • LVCIFER says:

        Hey Jimmy.

        I’ll try to shoot you another e-Mail in a little while, just have to find the time during work and all. For now, let’s try to keep it to emails, at least until I can find a way to make certain posts private so that not very one can see it.

  17. fierynbroken says:

    Wow! I have no idea how i ended up here. But that is the first time Iv ever read about someone in their own words so truthfully. Like, if I wanna say Im bad, Id say maybe..Im a liar. period. I wouldnt describe it!! I love how you’ve completely portrayed yourself fiber to fiber in here!!!
    and your blog is the superlative of scary! Im a self admitted scaredy-cat. But i guess thats coz of the movies. I couldnt watch Emily Rose coz i was hyper-ventilating in the beginning itself but i wanted to know why such things happened to her. Your blog just made the whole thing so much more easier for me and still gave me the creeps. Such a beautifully written sequence. Thank you! 🙂

    • LVCIFER says:

      Thank you, very much. Again, I truly do appreciate it. There was still so very much that I opted to leave out because in the end, this site isn’t about me, it’s about the topic of demonology and malevolent hauntings, and I didn’t feel that my full story was really something that readers would even be interested in. I appreciate the fact that you read through all of it, I know that it is a hell of a lot to absorb. When I started this blog, I made the decision to be frank, and to be forthcoming. All of my life, I had hidden behind the facade of being normal, and I never expressed the true me because I feared that I’d be labeled insane. Then, with the inception of this site, I decided to approach it from the point of view of simply not caring what people thought. I’m glad I did, because the readers – you guys – seem to enjoy the style I use to convey my research and stories through. It’s nothing fancy, I simply call it the “no bullshit” approach, and state the facts, state my experiences, state my findings, and let the reader form their own conclusions. If they want to believe it’s all lies and junk, them let them, they have that right, you know? If they choose to believe, that’s also their right.

      I am sitting on over 240 pages of unreleased material and research that I have been saving up for the upcoming book I intended to release, but I am seriously contemplating releasing it as free content on the site for the readers to view. I’m not sure where it will go from here, but I’m getting many hundreds of views per day, and I want all of you guys to be happy here. Most people search on the Internet for answers, not links to more books / products that they have to pay for to get those answers.

  18. jessigirl says:

    People are drawn to you Lvcifer and thereby drawn to your words..which without doubt you have a gift of not only your writing style, but more importantly with absolute freedom..full disclosure.. I appreciate that greatly ..

    Might I ask what and how you received the nickname Lucifer as a child.. I read your referencing that it originated from childhood, but not the how or why..

    Thanks for the intelligent and informative blog posts.. You are gifted of that I have no doubt.


    • LVCIFER says:


      Actually, it was a multitude of different reasons as to why I started being called “Lucifer”. When I was younger, in high school, it all started because I was one of those “goth” kids. I liked to dress all in black, I liked the darker side of things such as rock/metal music, I enjoyed violence, and I didn’t really hide it.I was/am also a misanthrope. I never really enjoyed or accepted people. I was also very sadistic as a kid. At the time, I didn’t realize that this “goth” persona was my way of trying to outwardly project the darkness that I felt inside of me. So, I tried to basically make my physical appearance and demeanor reflect what I was and who I was inside. So, when I was in high school, people started calling me “Angel”. Then, that started to be convoluted into the “Angel of Death”.Sadly, I’m not making this up. I was expelled from three separate schools for violence, and I was known very much for the guy who didn’t need a reason to hurt people. People were afraid of me, and I fed off of every second of it back then.

      However, this entire metamorphosis did start a little bit earlier, in gradeschool. My parents and grandparents made sure that I went to a predominant Roman Catholic elementary school in New York City. I spent a very large portion of my childhood learning about the religious aspect of life. However, as with all things, I was always interested more in the darker side of religion that no one ever spoke of. In the taboo things that no one wanted to mention or address. I always contested and questioned what the nuns would teach us. They didn’t like me very much. As a matter of fact, I’ve had my ass beaten by nuns on more than one occasion, until they realized that I enjoyed the pain. then, it stopped.

      It was in these years where I began to notice the darkness in me. However, it was genuinely something very Insignificant that started it all. Shortly after I started going to high school, PlayStation and Xbox had started up their gaming networks. Slightly before that, it was the Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis that had the first online gaming network called “Xband”. When I tried to choose a moniker, “Angel of Death” had already been taken, so I began to look for a new handle. I wanted something that would suit me, and I wanted something that I genuinely felt I related to. Seeing that I was always a proud person (to a fault), the first thing that I did was take my rebellious nature into consideration, and it was a pretty easy match: I found an angel who was both proud and rebellious, perhaps even the most rebellious, and I rechristened myself as “Lucifer”. However, I spelled it the old Roman way due to my Roman Catholic roots, and instead of having a “U”, I replaced that with a “V”, forming LVCIFER.

      I remember at the time, some of the required/recommended reading for my English lit class was “Paradise Lost”, by John Milton. So it was literally a no-brainer.

      That’s how it started.

      Afterwards, I actually wound up becoming rather famous in the gaming circuit, with the games Mortal Kombat, and people began to know the name “LVCIFER”. I started to make acquaintances with people from the gaming circuits around my area, and I started to meet up with some of them and slowly but surely, the name “LVCIFER” started to gain momentum, and people started to only refer to me as that. I was no longer known as “John”, but now as “LVCIFER”. I made some lifelong acquaintances from this gaming circuit, and drop contact with them frequently. The name “LVCIFER” puts them in contact with me almost instantly. More on that below.

      As I got older, and as is stated in my little bio, I became ingrained in a small, underground New York City Society of people who seem to cater to the darkness. This place/society was known as House Sabertooth, or Clan Sabertooth. There were only about 3,000 or 4,000 people in this underground society, however, many of them started to know me as “LVCIFER”.

      I began to experiment and participate in the S/M (sadomasochism) and D/s (Dominant/submissive) underground. It seemed a natural match for me, with my dark and sadistic nature, and my almost inhuman tolerance of pain. And, as usual, people came to know me there as well only by my moniker, and not my actual name.

      Then, I started to write, professionally, for iPhone and Apple blogs. So it was a natural fit. I started joining forums, and I started writing articles under the name “LVCIFER”.

      In the end, it worked out for me, because now whenever you Google ” LVCIFER” with my spelling of the “V”, it is a direct link to finding me. And throughout my life, for the past two decades or so, people have been able to easily locate me on the Internet due to the spelling of the way I chose to display Lucifer. It’s like an open beacon for any of those who are seeking me out.

      Everyone seems to think that because I chose the name that I did, it must mean that I’m a devil worshiper, or that in some way shape or form, I am lauding or exalting the first angel. That is not the case. They say that imitation is also the sincerest form of flattery. I don’t know if that applies in this situation, because the name is just a name. The first angel is what he is, no matter what he is called throughout history. I genuinely saw a lot of his traits in me, before he became the all-wicked ruler of the underworld. Before he was Lucifer, he was Heylel. His traits of pride and rebellion brought forth his fall from grace. And like him, I genuinely felt that the traits that were very dominant my personality, would bring me full force into my own downward spiral. They would force me to hit rock bottom. And throughout my life, I was correct. Just because I chose the name, doesn’t mean I worship the demigod.

      While I have tried vigorously to improve the person that I am, sometimes nature just overpowers all. I would like to be better, but time will tell. It’s a struggle every day. And at the end of it all, the handle or moniker that I have chosen really makes no difference in the matter. It is what it is, and I am what I am.

  19. Marielle says:

    Hi! Very interesting post there. Apon watching videos of apocalyptic times approaching on youtube and saw a demon possessed man and a naked cannibal eating off at a man’s face, I stumbled across your blog. Though I found that you mentioned your Faith, how has that affected you in this do you think? Only answer if you want to of course.

    • LVCIFER says:

      Hello, Marielle.

      My faith… Hmm… Well, it’s been difficult. I constantly battle and debate within myself about whether or not any of this is real, or if the concept of faith is just an illusion of grandeur. I’ve decided to just go with what feels right in the end.

      It’s very hard for someone like me to just abandon reason, logic and science and blindly believe. But that’s more or less where I’m at, at the moment.

      I also feel like I’ve related being a good person (or at least trying to be a better one) with my closest approximation of penance for who I am and what I’ve done in the past.

      I guess above all else, I’m a work in progress.

      • Marielle says:

        I find that it is extremely interesting though how one can, even though they say they don’t have the ability to feel emotions like “normal” people do, express a will, if you will, to want to do better. I think you are very kind to tell a part of your story even though you say you’ve left out a lot of it.

        I read a book a while ago about a man who’s half Italian, half Chinese who told the story of his life about how he was hated by his Chinese relatives because his mother had betrayed them with marrying an Italian (not of their kind with other words) man and had kids with him. He was sent to his grandfather when he was 3, who also despised him and was trained in Kung Fu from the start. He was a great combat and became world famous in Kung Fu and people around that. Although he began killing people because he felt hatred from his upbringing and this gave him relief. So he became a “wicked” man in that sense, but he was imprisoned and somehow he became a Christian. He faced the most dangerous man in the prison of whom it was said that he showed no one ever any mercy (and also this first person had some trouble with his faith and still got into fights with other prisoners). The fearsome man of this prison faced this first man and was going to kill him, when this first man whispered in his ear “Jesus loves you” the fearsome old man of the prison ran away screaming like a girl. The author of the book is called Tony Anthony.

        Why did I write this? Well, I think it’s because I find the supernatural extremely intriguing and this story is very fascinating and so is yours and on some level that I don’t know and don’t understand myself I have a weird sense of understanding people. I’m not saying as in empathy or sympathy, I mean as in I understand even if I wouldn’t or haven’t ever done anything similar. Like I said I find the supernatural very interesting but haven’t really got the ability to see it like you say only feel it at times. I also found out strange things in my family recently about occuring deaths. But anyhow, not sure wanna read this or if it makes any sense at all to you, but I also wanted to thank you for your, what I believe is, honest answer.

        Thank you!

  20. Marielle says:

    I forgot to add (which makes my comment very odd, of which I’m sorry) that I wanted information about demon possession and that it was the reason why I found the blog. Hope you understand what I mwan though.

  21. charles stewart phone is567-712-2392 Lima Ohio look for me on face book , want story told, book help says:

    I am one of those people you talk about. I was a teen for Christ youth. I was lead into witchcraft after a the ending of my first marriage. I turned against god and was apporached by a spirit in my dreams. This spirit imatated an actress from the jazz era. I was lead to my first coven in Ohio. I went further into Santeria. I became a successful artist and psychic. When I turned from the Loa towards Jesus a living nightmare began for me and my family. I knew I was already possessed for possession was apart of my religion. In my fight to get away from it. I finally found a priest who helped us in Hattiesburg MS. I was free for three years then started to back slide this led to a demonic haunting that was so bad that the TAPS affiliates in MS failed us and turned on us. We finally found help threw Bill Bean. I know God wants me to tell this story. I am just looking for a writer for during this ordeal I suffered an anerism, and a copal of strokes. As you can see I have problems writing. You can find me on facebook Charles Stewart Lima Ohio. My profile pic is a picture of Saint Micheal the angle. In my pics folders I have several photos created by photo shop of what others saw in the home. We have many whitnessess to this. I want the world to know for I guess I want payback maybe. I lost nine years of my life and my family all developed serious illnesses from this. They almost killed me and almost drove us to want to kill each other. If you are interested in helping tell this story let me know . Your brother in Jesus Christ Chuck.

  22. Joey says:

    Hi: I mean this in no way to be disrespectful but a lot of how you describe yourself reminds me of what I just finished researching and i wonder if you would ever classify yourself as a psychopath? Again its not to be disrespectful, a lot of the traits seem to align. Also, I’m really happy I found this site, you mentioned that you are writing a trilogy and I just began writing one, one of the main characters being Uriel and I am thankful that to have found resources through your blog.

  23. Jeremy Foster says:

    Where did you get your information about the Emily Rose case? something about it does not feel right, as if there are things revealed that should not be revealed.

    • LVCIFER says:

      Hello Jeremy.

      Most of it was obtained from books, and some was gathered from either foreign documentaries, translated documents, etc. At the bottom of the article is a list of sources that are available to anyone who is so inclined to research for themselves.

      I’d strongly recommend the book by Felicitas D. Goodman, though. It’s a phenomenal piece of work.

  24. Mustafa says:

    Hi My Name is Imam-Musafa Ali
    i had a dream of a demon and weird stuff happenng can you please contact me i need your help please
    i dont know who or what the demon is as far as name but i can give more details just please contact me asap

  25. yenahel says:

    AS we begin are study of the occult angels ext these experiences are common but we also must remember this is a realm that can be very deceptive and dangerous, if we do not follow proper dispelling matras and or prayers ,for example my wife just read one page of the dictionary of angels and angels visited her that night however she felt it was the fallen variety.

  26. Chris says:

    I have to say that I love the site. While I haven’t had all the occurances you have, I definitely have felt and (unfortunately) have seen preternatural things happen to me in my life. I still remember when I had sleep paralysis (the scientific term of the preternatural kind of night-mare) and I was literally being choked and was paralized by ‘something.’ All I knew was how intensely evil that black… thing… was, and the intense hatred cannot be described. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. I’ve also been to multiple haunted areas, including a few abandoned insane asylums where the growls in the shadows were heard. I could go on, but my point is more about the why than the how. WHY are certain people affected or sensitive to these things over others? I grew up intensely spiritual, i have always been a Christian, and frankly, I know what the Holy Spirit feels like to a point where the bumps in the night don’t bother me as much anymore. Even still, I come from a family that has had multiple near-death experiences, a grandma who had the ‘clock stoppage’ thing you mentioned (although mine was alive ad challenging God for proof…she got it throughout her life), and even a non-religious mother who was visited by angels when I was born. She rarely speaks of it, but she did say how peaceful it was anyway. Anyways, my point is that I don’t understand why me or my family has this sensitivity gift/curse to begin with. Maybe it isn’t a question you or anyone else can answer, but it is one I’ve always asked subcontiously at least throughout my life. Let me know if you ever find an answer!

  27. saraekali says:

    wow, that is a very intense story…and you are right in saying not many will understand…I suppose people are used to having the world work in a certain way so they try to shut out everything else…or label it ‘crazy’. not sure why I’m writing, I suppose its about you talking of yourself as not being normal because of all this darkness you feel in you…I suppose my view on this is different from yours, I think everyone has light and dark inside, they just show up differently in each person. There’s people that shine brightly, and people that scare you just with their presence, probably depends a lot on what they’ve been through in their life, what part they develop. I have just been through a very dark period this year, and I have gotten much nearer to my darkness, looked it in the eye. Scary, sometimes I thought I was going ‘crazy’, as you say…but I’m happy I went through it. I feel much more complete than the average person, going through their life in a state of perpetual twilight.
    What I mean to say is that darkness and violence is not all negative…you might have already looked into it, but if you research the hindu religion they see the world as balance between the energies of order and chaos, and in the same way every aspect of divinity has a positive and negative expression within it, coexisting, but none is more important than the other, or seen as better. Unusual point of view, I know.
    Also, about the eyes changing colour…I practice ad ancient form of ritual indian dance, very much connected to prayer and meditation. It actually originated as a form of worship and was practiced in temples: when performing the dancer ideally channels divine energy. I have always noticed that just after a very intense practice session, or even more after a performance, the eyes of us dancers kind of ‘light up’, as if they were glowing from the inside. This is definitely more noticeable with my teacher, who has blue eyes…but lately as I become more experienced I notice that mine (dark brown) become almost amber-like. We always thought it was because of the energy (spiritual, physical, or both) of the dance. Thought I’d let you know, maybe you can link it to an ‘energy presence’ in your case as well.
    Noticed you haven’t posted in a long time…hope everything’s ok, this blog is amazing, you should keep it going.

    • LVCIFER says:

      Hello, Sara.

      Thank you for your thoughtful and detailed reply. I did not know that, about the envy you believe you obtain from doing the ritualistic dance. I’m not sure what exactly it could be in my case, I just know that for some odd reason, whenever I am out in the sunlight, my eyes become a pale baby blue, when they are normally a dark, steely grey. There are also little “flecks” of yellow in there that seem to literally absorb light and “glow” in ultra-bright days. It’s always been rather curious to me. While I may not have a spiritual answer, I’m pretty sure that science has a suitable one. All I know is that when I’m in a bad mood, my eyes go dark grey. They don’t seem to change much when I’m in a good mood.

      I too also agree with the sentiment that because of my inner darkness, I feel more complete than the average person. Most people focus only on the “good“, and being positive that they live in a world full of denial about anything negative or dark, and when reality comes crashing down on them, it hits like a ton of bricks. I understand and accept that people are capable of being brilliantly bright, or astoundingly dark. I am prepared to deal with either of them should I need to, and many people are not.

      Again, I’m glad that you wrote, and I thank you for your interest. I’ll be updating the blog somewhat more recently, I just don’t like posting up articles that have not been thoroughly researched, and some topics take a long time – even years – to properly research. I don’t like doing things “half-assed“. Stick around though, this blog is far from dead.

  28. example number 4. It’s been happening to me a lot of times. It’s like sleep paralysis in various level of sh*t. First i got sleep paralysis i thought i were dreaming but actually it wasn’t. Not at all. i saw my sisters, i heard what they said, but i cudnt make any movement, hard to breathe. but i was lucky because somehow i could scream out loud calling my sister’s name. Then she woke me up. There was a point where i felt so miserable due to lack of sleep. I spent most of my night with sleep paralysis. My mom told me that maybe i was just tired. Damn, it’s been a long episodes!. My dad then witnessed me screaming and he saw my body was shaking so bad. Some days later they took me to … ehhmm sorry i cant find the exact word in english -_-“. He is a muslim man who can see invisible things and “pull the “nasty invisible thing” away”. I think he didnt do muslim exorcism, he just brought me to a room then asked me to sit down, and the moved his hand, likely he was taking something from my shoulder. Very scary. Also he gave me a small of bottle of oil. I don’t have any idea what it was. The smell was so yuck. But the night after that i could sleep well. Don’t you think it’s a happy ending story. no. It began to start again with me, the new chapter of my horrid sleep paralysis. Now i live alone, far away from my town, so i could not yell at anyone’s name. I still have Allah (yes, i’m a muslim), and He will protect me wherever i am. I screamed His Name or Allahu Akbar or any word to His Greatness. Then i could wake up and breath again. I’m honestly scared to have this kind of weird phenomenon. My friends think that i’m weird. Actually that’s not the entire chapters. hahaha. Yahh it’s been so years. now i’m 25 yo. I wish i could life happily without any sleep paralysis 😦 . oh one more thing, “Deja Vu” occurs a lot to me. I realise i saw those scenes in my dreams. Even for a year sometimes i can memories them well. Sometimes those scenes come in real life. Weird dreams + Sleep paralysis are two sickening things ever in my life. All i can do now is trying to get myself closer to Allah and beg for His protections. Hope this horrid era of my night will be ended. I’m waiting for a miracle.

  29. Glen says:

    Lucifer was an angel of light……now he is in the spirit world until the 5th trumpet when God will allow him out of the abyss to be a powerful illusion to those that do not believe God’s messages being delivered by the 144,000 servants. Study Daniel and Revelation via this site wake-up.org you don’t have to believe it now just read it and store it in your mind with all the other stuff out there and only time will tell. Main thing is that Jesus is not fully understood because man wants to portray him as something that’s not important.

  30. valerie says:

    Exodus 20:5
    You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me,

    I did not know what I was doing when I was younger. I just lived in a place that felt like hell. It wasn’t until last year I found God. I have paid the price, my children have paid the price, and my loving God has forgiven my sins. I googled possessions and came across your site and felt the need to reply. I read your posts and I see an intelligent scared little boy who is confused and never felt true love. I was that way before. We are only in this world a short time you just need to learn how to enjoy life and let your problems be controlled by something else; GOD! You have a lot of sadness you can hear it though you posts I will pray for you. God loves you and we love you. You are our brother in this life and the next.

    Philippians 4:13
    I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

  31. Margaret says:

    Thank you for your history. You are a very complex individual. You are my kind of person. I say this because my husband is like you in some ways. I personally have had my own experiences with the supernatural. Since my grandparents died when I was 5 yrs old. Off and on throughout my life. I am impressed.

  32. Kristina says:

    I have learned a great deal from this site, thank you! I do have a question, if a demon wants back into heaven will God forgive and let him back? Does a demon consider heaven home? Maybe it’s all the scary movies I’ve been watching due to Halloween, but is it possible that demons possess humans so they can feel God’s love and be closer to him? Has anyone ever asked a demon during an exorcism what heaven was like and if they miss it? I still don’t understand why they hate us considering they got to hang out with God and not be bound to a planet like us. Plus, it seems like they crave attention, look at the angel hierarchy vs. demon hierarchy. Everyone knows who the top demons are and have heard stories of them possessing and haunting humans. But there is little info about the top angels (Seraphim, Cherubim, Thrones, etc.). Plus you rarely hear stories about Archangels interacting with us, and it seems they only appear if it’s an absolute emergency. Are they embarrassed that Saint Michael defeated them? Could demons have low self-esteem? Do you think they are missed in Heaven? Surely they had close friends. Is it wrong to feel sorry for them? They got mad because they didn’t want to share God’s love, right? It seems they just want to be loved and are lonely, or am I way off? I apologize for the crazy questions but it’s something I’ve been thinking about for awhile. Thanks Again!

    • Esther says:

      As a Christian, my answer is no. Demons have sealed their fate for eternity by rebelling against God when they had perfect knowledge of Him. They can never be admitted as citizens of heaven because their very nature is fixed permanently as pure evil and anti-God. They cannot feel love or any positive emotions that give us connection to one another. Their feelings and desires are the exact opposite of everything good and that too can never be changed. Angels are loyal to God and feel the opposite of demons, but they are subject and obedient to God and do only what He commands. Angels will never appear to you by your beck and call (only demons will respond to your calls), because it is God who gives them commands, not humans. If you need help, you should be calling on God through Jesus Christ for help, and then God will send His angels to protect you.

      Your thoughts of pity towards demons are misplaced. Demons are damned for a reason, and that reason is that they insulted and blasphemed God by their disobedience. Their diabolical nature does not change with time and they will not repent no matter how much love is shown. Their rebellion is inexcusable because they knew God and were once in His presence as angels. To be in the very presence of God and then making a choice to rebel against Him is the highest treason that can ever be committed. Their damnation is thus deserved and you should not be wasting your time feeling sorry for them or exposing yourself to their influences. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

  33. mary says:

    I can identify with your story only mine goes deeper. I could hear and feel the demons and had to suffer alone in my own personal hell for 10 years. The only explanation I can come up with is a generational curse. It was the most horrifying thing you could ever think of and you feel so alone because you know it is real but no one would believe you.

  34. Ashley says:

    Hello. My name is Ashley and I have been taking quite a interest in your posts and blog this past week. Every day when I come to work, I read a article from your site. But I only read when someone is around me as your articles scare the shit out of me lol.. I seen a comment from a young lady on here and also seen where you talk about 3am. I used to wake up every morning at 3:15 or 3:20am and I always knew that it was a reason that I awake at that hour every morning but I didn’t want to actually recognize it bc it truly scared me. Also I’m a bit of a horror movie fan so I think that has a lot to do with it lol. Well anyway I wanted to tell you about my only weird experience in my life that has me still thinking about it today at the age of 25. This happen to me when I was 15 years old and to others it may not seem as serious or weird but it does to me and left me thinking about it years later. I lived in Denver Colorado for the majority of my teen years and I honestly hated it at the time. Me being from Dallas Texas and having to move somewhere that was so cold that it felt apocalyptic lol.. Anyway while riding back to Dallas from Denver, I had something like a out of body experience if that is what you want to call it. I was asleep in the backseat of the car according to my mom and step dad but I could see and hear everything they were talking about. I thought that I was sitting up looking out the window as we were driving. But my mom and dad said that I was laying down, snoring, fast asleep. I seen us pull into the sonic drive in. And I told them what I want, as Sonic was my Favorite fast food as a teen. I told them that I wanted a footlong coney with onions and mustard and chili cheese tater tots and a strawberry limeade with extra strawberries. But they repeatedly. shook me and asked me what I wanted like I wasn’t talking to them, like I was still asleep. Well they proceeded to order what they want, got their food and was just about to pull off when I guess I woke up. I asked them why they were Acting like they couldn’t hear me and I was really frustrated with them for that. Everything pissed me off as a teen lol. But they told me that I was sleeping really hard and that was the first time they ever heard me snore bc I normally don’t snore. I told them I could hear them, see them and was repeatedly telling them what I wanted. They just blew it off like it was nothing but it left a imprint on me bc that makes me wonder if that’s what death must be like. Your talking to people as if your not dead but to others you are dead. I would just like to know your opinion on that. Also two days ago I read your article on mirrors but what is crazy is that a couple days before I read the article on mirrors, I was getting up for work and went to use the bathroom but I stopped at the mirror and when I looked in it like I normally do every morning, something felt different or strange. Everything in my reflection looked like me but I just felt something different than I normally do and I can’t quite put my finger on it but after about a good 30 seconds of staring at myself in the mirror I felt as if something else was looking back at me. That it wasn’t me looking at me. But I brushed it off bc I didn’t want to have my mind wondering all day about that. So just two days later after that incident I come across your article about mirrors and that totally sent a chill up my spine. Even now as I’m writing you I’m at work by myself and I have to close this store by myself which requires me to clean the bathrooms which I might skip on doing tonight lol. Anyways I just wanted to let you know these few things on my mind lol.. It would be nice to have a reply back but if not it’s still cool. I will continue to be a loyal reader bc dude you speak about some really interesting things. I’ll be looking forward to new articles.

  35. $harine says:

    Hello Lucifer,

    Can u please share your email id.

  36. I think it’s quite possible that you may be suffering from a myriad or perhaps just one very distinct and unrecognized personality disorder; Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I am very familiar with this as both my parents and ex-husband suffered with this and still do to this day. Being highly intelligent and isolated in your ‘differences’ could have caused a detachment from yourself and healthy relationships with loved ones at an early age. It is my fervent belief that because of your ‘meddling’ with Satanism a dark spirit may have entered your life; infiltrating and coloring everything in your life and especially your persona. You would do best by your wife and family to get a blessing and cleansing from a demonologist Christian pastor like Bob Larson – he will be able to tell within the first few minutes if you’re possessed by a malevolent spirit(s). Best of luck to you! Where can I buy your book on Nephilim, Angels, demons, etc.??

  37. Jessie Price says:

    I know a lot about what you have written on your “blog” you have entertained your brain with a lot of information that the “normal” human mind would not be able to comprehend… or deal with… which would bring me to this question…. you have written that you are not “normal” then “what” are you? besides using the name of the one cast from heaven whom created hell… also excluding what therapists would consider you as a “pysociopath” which we both know that’s not necessarily true

    • LVCIFER says:

      That’s a good question, but I’m not sure how to answer that. Obviously, I’m a person, but I honestly think that I’m just beyond broken, internally.

      When I was younger, I was fascinated by the aspect of possession because I think I was trying to explain the evil I felt inside of me. But as I’ve gotten older, I think I’ve learned to better understand the darkness within, and the eternal fury that comes with it. I’ve still got no satisfactory explanations, but I’m still learning to cope with the beast inside me.

      • Esther says:

        Before I became a Christian, I felt the exact same kind of darkness and fury you felt. I don’t need to explain since you also experienced it. But Christ Jesus showed me later on that those darkness was nothing more than demonic. You have demonic influences in your life and only Jesus Christ can free you.

    • Esther says:

      The author here has a case of demonic oppression or even perhaps partial possession. The darkness and fury he feels inside him is an indication of demonic presence within him, I know this from personal experience as an ex-atheist. Only faith in Jesus Christ removed the demonic presence from my life and I saw the reality of my experience through Him.

      • LVCIFER says:

        Hey, anything is possible. I personally disagree with you based on a multitude of factors, but that’s just me. Yes, some people do suffer from diabolical oppression/possession, but other times, you just also have to accept that some people are also just simply born bad. Everything in the world can’t be explained away by the forces of good or evil. Nature is neither, yet it is both simultaneously. It absolutely exists, and some people just have a “bad nature” to them. I truly believe I am one of those people, because I have been this way all my life, from as far back as I can remember, even into early childhood. There were no “events” that I recall, there were no generational curses, no one ever “promised me” to any dark deities, nothing. I’m just a cold-hearted, sociopathic, cruel, sadistic, mean-spirited sonovabitch. I’ve come to accept the fact that it really might just be as simple as that. However, I DO have my own beliefs. Not only do I have my own religious beliefs, but I also believe in genetics, and psychology, science, and the history of mankind.

        But back to beliefs, if we listen to your previous comments, according to your own point of view, I may also be “possessed” in your opinion because I’m of the Roman Catholic belief system, and I apparently have spent my entire life being brainwashed by the demonic (Roman Catholic) Church and their Satanic practices.

        I’ve seen you criticize their veneration for Mary in particular, and you liken her to a false idol of some kind. Yet, something to take into consideration would be that GOD him/herself decided that Mary was the only person on earth who was worthy enough to carry His child. That alone should tell you something. That alone should tell you that she was absolutely special. She was instantly granted sainthood, and a spot in Paradise, immediately at the side of her Son. She wasn’t your average, run-of-the-mill Saint.

        So yeah, there was absolutely something that set her apart from everyone else. God Himself saw that, the father and the son chose her to raise birth and raise Him on Earth.

        I personally am tired of having to edit your comments because of your aggressive Bible-thumping, trying to beat your version of Christianity into people’s heads, and watching you literally trash-talk other religions out there. I’m perfectly willing to have INTELLIGENT discussions / debates with you, however, I’m not going to permit your opinions to continue offending other readers from this site.

        Just like you expect your beliefs to be respected, so does everyone else. So please stop going around telling everyone that they’re influenced be demons because they don’t share the same beliefs as you do. At the very least, it’s counter-productive to the points you’re trying to make.

        Since you’re so interested in Jesus, I strongly recommend you read a book called “Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth”, by Reza Aslan. It’s a book about the historical Jesus, the MAN, not Jesus the Christ. As in, historical fact supported by centuries of archaeology, research, scholarly debate, and above all else, objectivity. At the very least, it will give you something to do on the weekend.

      • Esther says:

        Your personal beliefs about yourself is yours, I have no comments to make about that. But regardless of your nature or anyone’s nature for the matter of fact, people are ALL susceptible to demonic oppression/possession, in varying degrees. I can tell you from personal experiences that this is so, because I was a victim of partial demonic possession.

        If you think possession occurs only when there are certain extreme “events” like generational curses or satanic sacrifices you are in for a real shock. Neither is your view that all people possessed must have the symptoms of Michel correct because many times such people function normally in society and only have certain “areas” of their life affected by the demons in them. I for example did not go mad (at lease never considered so clinically), I was not exhibiting the symptoms Michel exhibited, but I could tell I was not myself in some of my thought patterns and reactions. I loved dogs since young but during that period of possession I actually abused animals and found that to be enjoyable. That was just one of the out-of-the-ordinary things I did. No one knew I was possessed or under influence of demonic entities, not even myself. That realization only came when I accepted Jesus Christ into my life and had a heavy weight lifted off my chest (which is also what people feel when demons leave their body according to their shared experiences).

        Regardless of your beliefs, the reason I believe you have a case of demonization is because of the irrational feelings and states of mind you yourself said you had. What you were confessing to feel or experience were the exact things I experienced when I was demonized. Irrational thoughts and behaviors and emotions are a product and symptom of demonization because those things come from an external source and not voluntarily from within and of yourself. It is pretty much logical to think that either you are producing those feelings and thoughts or some external force is producing them, there can be no alternative explanations.

      • Esther says:

        Now onto Roman Catholicism, its history alone speaks about its defiance of true Christianity. The Crusade (I’m sure you’ve heard of it) is still being used by atheists and the likes to discredit Christianity as a whole to this very day, not to mention the other crimes done in the name of Christ which have absolutely nothing to do with Christ and His teachings under the Roman religious system (which is the birthplace of Roman Catholicism). You know these things as facts, so if you want to take it personally, you should be even more angry at those non-Catholics who use your religion’s history to attack, mock and smear the entire Christendom rather than me who stated nothing more than what I know and believe to be true.

        As for how we should view Mary, the Bible itself shows it clearly. When Jesus was hanging on the Cross, He called Mary “woman” rather than mother, and elsewhere He never told His disciples to “venerate” Mary in any way. Does that not indicate something as well? If we are to honor Mary the way Catholics do today, Jesus would be the first to tell us in the Bible, and even more so, He would be the first person to do it as an example for us. So why did He not teach His believers to have a statute for Mary and to follow Roman Catholics’ example? And if He did not personally instruct believers to venerate Mary being God Himself walking on earth, on what authority does Roman Catholicism institute such a religious practice?

        Who is the center figure of Christianity? Is it Jesus or Mary? Who was preached by Jesus’ disciples – Jesus or Mary? Judge for yourself then based on all the actions of people closest to Jesus whether Mary should be venerated or not, because I am fully convinced that Mary was never taught to be venerated or treated differently by ANY of Jesus’ disciples, including Jesus Himself. In fact, Mary was never preached in any sermons or talked about by disciples during their church establishment in the first century AC. Mary is as human as any other saint of God, she merely had a special role in God’s plan, but that doesn’t change who she IS – a human. The grounds Roman Catholicism stand in their beliefs about veneration of Mary as some super saint, elevating her above other believers, has absolutely no biblical support, zero support in fact from any early Christian roots.

        You said you are fine with having an intelligent discussion, I have done my best here. If you still believe I am attacking people’s beliefs, then I have nothing else to say to you other than the fact that you are stubbornly not adhering to historical facts about how the practice of Mary veneration and worship actually came about (which was really a religious invention tied to pagan beliefs and had nothing to do with early Christianity).

        As for respecting people’s beliefs, I have not personally attacked anyone on here other than sharing my experiences. If I did not go through possession myself, I would not be here talking to others in hope that they will be saved too from their possession. If merely raising objections with facts is considered disrespectful, then I can say people have disrespected my beliefs 100 times more severely than I have ever done. All I did was to raise objections about certain religious practices in a Christian based religion, but I’ve had people attacking me personally and discrediting my own experiences as though they were me and at the same time mocking and insulting my God, calling Him all kinds of ugly names. That is what I call real disrespect, and I’ve done none of those things on your site.

        I know what I believe and I share what I know, if you still have some beliefs about God, you will know that what you and I say are all seen by God. It would be absolutely nuts for me to come here for the purpose of tearing people down, or to have any real evil intentions, knowing that God is going to judge me for my intentions. But if you are going to take offense at the slightest disagreement (no matter how strong it may be) and censor me because I dare to say things people won’t want to here, then I will not comment here anymore.

  38. thersida says:

    i want to know more about you, i mean you can be a living example of most of the things that scare me and some that fascinate me a lot.. i love studying how the brain works, i love finding out what is going on in the minds of people i talk to and those whose work i read. you seem to have what some people would call psychopathic traits. if you let loose the control you have to what you call the beast inside you it is not gonna go well. I mean all the while i was reading this story i was thinking wow this man is dangerous. If i may ask, how did you meet your wife, and what does she mean to you, i’m sure the question is very personal but i just had to tr and see if you would feel comfortable talking about such personal interactions with the people you are fond of. I’m sorry if i went to personal i just had to ask. Like i said if you don’t mind i want to know more about you

  39. Finn says:

    I am really glad you made the distinction between being catholic and Christian. You are certainly very astute. Catholics don’t realise that people more evolved than them can ‘see into ‘ their religion and see what they are really channeling. It ain’t the Holy Spirit that’s for sure! Theybhave no connection to the true Christ teachings.

    • Tom says:

      People more evolved that them…..so you are superior to others? That’s called pride. It amazes me how fast “christian” people use thier religion to judge others and speak as though they are so righteous. I am Catholic and I am Christian, why don’t you try reading what the church does teach, early Christian writters, church fathers ect……

      • Esther says:

        Christians who don’t judge between true and false, right and wrong is not acting according to God’s will. Paul wrote that Christians are to judge angels, and was displeased when Christians could not judge matters among themselves and instead brought the matter before unbelievers. If you think Christians should be 100% non-judging in regards to spiritual matters, read Paul’s epistles because your beliefs are in stark conflict with what Paul believed.

  40. Ester Smith says:

    have you ever heard of a religious organization (cult in my opinion) by the name of Eckankar?

  41. Arash says:

    hello,i am Arash from iran. i read your article about the german girl who was possessed by 6 demons.you mentioned that you have in your possession the records and translations of the exorcisms of her.if it is possible please send them to me…… BEST REGARDS

  42. Ade says:

    I find your blog quite fascinating and very interesting. With some similar aspects, but I wouldn’t dare to say more… I’m just greatful that people like you DO exist ( in weird way of saying). 🙂

  43. Doug Lamb says:

    angels lose their wings for possessing a human body

  44. Ann says:

    I really need help don’t know what to make out of what happened can you please call me or I can call you. My sister sister is very scared and my nephew as well. Please help.

  45. Uzma Anwar says:

    I can only say YOU ARE AMAZINNNNNNGGGGG!!!!!

  46. Lvciver, enjoyed your excellent Part I review of the Film, “The Rite”. Have you or will you finish & Post Part II?
    Thank You, SCHNOZ

  47. Hey there…I went to bed with my Rosary reading this 🙂 Gotta say, you scare me a little, John. I’m glad you are trying to tame your dark side.
    I am a Catholic (lapsed), but that’s because I, too, questioned aspects of the Religion…I too, was taught by nuns & priests.
    This comment is really for Esther, who, I imagine is a pentecostal Christian.
    I have always maintained that, while the New Testament is about the ‘Man’ and the Old is basically Hearsay…Ultimately, The Bible is often misquoted ( let’s face it) and is a much-translated adaptation/interpretation by ‘normal’ men.
    I would bet that some of Esther’s congregation ‘speak in tongues’ and I see you have quoted Paul…So I would direct you to Paul’s letters to Corinthians…1 Corinthians 14-Gifts From the Spirit.
    Who’s to say that the tongues aren’t really Demons speaking through them ? After all…no one understands gibberish.

  48. Sanj says:

    Hey, I just wanted to say, I have always felt that ancestrally I have been travelling from darkness to light and without acknowledging the darkness, the light is also denied. It’s essential to acknowledge our dark thoughts, actions, deeds and become lighter in all ways, God bless you, and that which you seek will manifest

  49. Lynn Poteat-Moore says:

    I’m super intrigued by your experiences and can’t wait to hear more! I can’t say I’ve had anything quite like that happen to me, but I do feel like you in the idea that I’m always looking for something to make sense of this crazy world we are in, and what comes next. I’m always open to things other-worldly for lack of a better term. I do know there has to be more! I also feel kind of numb when it comes to human emotions and wish I were more normal. I am an animal lover and seem to relate better to our furry counterparts! Thanks for being so honest and can’t wait for the next installment of your experiences! I had a interesting afternoon reading all the replies to your blog! People are a trip! I hope you have not lost your fervor for the subject of possession. I just wish I had seen your blog along time ago! Please let me know where I can find more of your work!

    • LVCIFER says:

      I’m still debating on whether or not I should continue writing. My last post has been quite a while ago, but there still seems to be quite a bit of interest in the blog based on the site stats.

      • Chris Bryan says:

        Did you publish your books? If you did whats the title? Can i get a copy?im still reading this tho at 2016

      • Sharine Stanley says:

        Hey there! I first checked your blog in 2013 and was kept coming back to it but never saw any articles. Please do continue writing. Waiting.. and Yes I hope you are doing well.. 🙂

  50. Medwick says:

    Hello there! English is my second language, so forgive me if the tone or grammar seems weird… I read through this post and it related me somehow. Weird things about angelic or religious beings are happening to me and some of the people I know. I personally is recalling “memories” that should not belonged to me. Some of them were proven true as I found a few people shared them(or have written history). Therefore, I get super intrigued by your experience, especially by your dreams. You mentioned that you wrote books. If convenient, could you please tell me the titles(if you published them) or any information? Maybe asking too much. Anyway, thank you for reading this:>!

  51. Steve says:

    Do you really want to change?

    Pray the Virgin Mary to help you find the way, the best and most effective weapon is the rosary. Pray it devoutly and pray it daily.
    Reflect on your sins and do an honest confession.
    Get a Roman Catholic priest to bless your home.
    Consecrate yourself and your family to the Sacred Hearts of Jesus and Mary.
    Always wear a blessed medal of the immaculate conception.
    Perform a home Enthronement of Sacred & Immaculate Hearts.

    … and the wicked one will run away in fear to where it belongs 🙂

  52. I want to know what you know. All of it. Please contact me at abrad611@gmail.com

    I want to know. I don’t care about the cost.

  53. Joshua says:

    We have very similar backgrounds and abilities, but I felt called to go shun the darkness. We seem to have had completely opposite outcomes after growing up essentially the same person with almost identical experiences. Understanding why is almost maddening as I write this. I have an inclination that you would feel the same after I share my stories.

  54. Tammy Smith says:

    Hi lvcifer,
    is your blog still active? I haven’t read it for a few years but your site name randomly came on predictive text in the search engine this morning . I’ve re-freshed myself with your bio and read some of the comments.
    I’ve always hoped you would keep posting new subjects.
    Happy new year.

  55. Smita says:

    I am only intersted in your post becoz of the angel puriel what do you know about this angel around 10 yrs back adter an accident i am very sensitive to supernatural entities i want to know more about this angel becoz he came in my dreams recently i am not even a christian and never belived in angels

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